What My Dog Has Taught Me About Love

Barney, Dostoevsky, and the Mystery of Loving

Barney on the sofa.

Barney, my dog, loves me. Now there’s a mystery to ponder for a lifetime.

What’s more, Barney cares for me. Sometimes, I would sit down in a quiet corner in the house, broken and hollowed out, making awkward attempts at crying (as one does when never taught how to cry). Barney would then approach me and tuck his head under my hand. “Pet me,” he insists, and I do. And suddenly, I am reminded that I am loved, and, what’s more, that I love. Then, I cry.

There is grace and wisdom in Barney’s care for me that still mystifies me. The way he expresses his love is through showing me he is available for me to love him. He does not impose his love, but offers a hand (a paw), inviting me into the space of love where the two of us can stand together.

Dostoevsky writes that hell is “the suffering of being unable to love”. Barney is not very well-read, but somehow, he knows this. Somehow, he knows that when I find myself in hell, it is not another’s love I need, but my own. And so, he helps me find it.

Perhaps this is the greatest act of love: to help another love.

May love save us all,

Simeon

And in the end

The love you take

Is equal to the love you make

John Lennon / Paul McCartney, The End

Why did Jesus suffer? This essay explores that question not as a theological riddle, but as a doorway into the strange, redemptive power of love that bears, endures, and transforms. A love that does not protect us from our wounds, but teaches us how to meet them.

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The Art of Loving by Erich Fromm

One of the most moving and meaningful books I have read. The Art of Loving takes you on an existential journey into the meaning of love and widens your understanding of what it means to love. Ultimately, it teaches love as a lifelong practice, an art that transforms you and your experience of life. Order here to support SEEKER TO SEEKER at no extra cost to you.