There is a twisted sort of wisdom in our escapes, in our addictions and compulsions. To indulge in these is to forget oneself and to collapse time down to the eternal present, safe from all the hurt the world may throw our way. Whether it’s a substance, work, gambling, entertainment… The pattern is the same. We seek escape from the unbearable story that is our life, our self, even in full knowledge of its devastating consequences on our lives. Why? Because, for a time, our escape frees us from time, from consequences, from life…
Our addiction breaks up the continuity of our life story with pockets of infinity, moments of free-fall beyond identity and the attendant limitations of a mortal life. We may rightly distinguish a profoundly spiritual impulse at the heart of this. Any journey of recovery must, I think, recognize and pay homage to that spiritual urge in addiction, the urge to freedom from self, world, and time. The difference between an addict and a mystic, as I see it, is the degree to which the individual is aware of what they are seeking—and their skillfulness in finding it.
The relationship between spirituality and addiction goes both ways, of course. All of us spiritual seekers would do well to examine what hidden motivations and compulsions might be driving our pursuit of transcendence, liberation, awakening, and other such high-flown ideals. How much of our spirituality is the ripening of life experience, and how much of it is an avoidance of experiencing life?
In any case, for all the ignorance and destructiveness of compulsive behavior, there is something deeply true at its root. There really is a state of being beyond self, world, and time. And this state really is the most precious abode for a sentient being. An addiction is simply a very unintelligent, ill-optimized strategy to seek that abode.
And where compulsive behavior falls short is here: that we imagine freedom comes through some special activity, experience, or possession. That we imagine freedom is something to get.
May we know our true abode and be free,
Simeon
“All sins are attempts to fill voids.”
Simone Weil
Suggested Reading
Wanting: The Power of Mimetic Desire in Everyday Life by Luke Burgis
Are our cravings even our own? In Wanting, Luke Burgis reveals how our desires are shaped by imitation—and how mimetic craving often drives both addiction and ambition. A book for anyone ready to unearth what truly moves them.
Order here and support SEEKER TO SEEKER at no extra cost.
In this piece, I explore Jiddu Krishnamurti’s uncompromising insight into the structure of thought and self. Krishnamurti’s teaching points to a radical stillness where no experience is chased, and no void calls to be filled.
What do you think about the notion of spirituality in the context of self-discovery, and how it relates to modern spiritual seekers who are primarily focused on experiencing ‘higher ecstasy’ or on feeling relaxed and relieved at all times? I often feel the first one greatly contradicts the second….but very curious to hear your thoughts
(great article btw!)