Dear friends,

This is a reminder that we’ll have our monthly group call this time tomorrow. It will be based on the Buddha’s parable of the two arrows (pain & suffering).

Our calls are a great way to connect with other seekers and exchange stories, insights, and questions. Tomorrow’s call is also a chance to discuss how to better process difficult experi…

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Dear friends,

The Buddha said that most people know of no escape from pain other than pleasure, and that this keeps them (us) trapped in a cycle of suffering and desire. He also recommended an alternative…

I’m writing to invite you to our next group call, where we will spend some time contemplating the Buddha’s parable of the two arrows. We will consider some of the unhealthy ways in which we may be reacting to painful feelings, as well as the alternative the Buddha recommends.

This month’s call is an opportunity to explore our unconscious patterns of escape, and to tap into our shared experience of what might work better when we are going through difficult experiences. (The call is not recorded, and there is no requirement to speak; you are welcome to simply listen to others.)

There is no need to prepare for the call, but you can find out more about what we’ll be discussing in my latest piece:

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We spend our entire lives caught between pain and pleasure. Escaping the one and chasing the other is at the root of most, if not all, our activity, and this struggle may seem necessary to human life. But what if it’s not? What if we could fully feel our feelings, even extreme pain or pleasure, without being controlled by them? The Buddha not only thinks we can do so—he taught his disciples exactly how.

Welcome to SEEKER TO SEEKER! My name is Simeon, I have an MA in Buddhist Studies, and here I explore the wisdom traditions of the world. Today, we’ll look at one of the most powerful texts of early Buddhism, and by the end, we’ll have a practical guide on how to skilfully process our feelings. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by strong emotions, desires, or just plain old suffering, I think you’ll find much guidance in this teaching. I know I have.

Part I. An Unlearned Ordinary Person

Sallatha Sutta, a text that goes back over two millennia, begins with the Buddha posing a question to his followers:

Monks, an unlearned ordinary person feels pleasant, painful, and neutral feelings. So does a learned noble disciple. What, then, is the difference between the two?

Sallatha Sutta; SN 36.6

This is already a loaded question. First, the Buddha alludes to his definition of a “feeling”, that is, the perception of any experience as either pleasant, painful, or neutral. Your favourite ice-cream flavour brings you a pleasant feeling; stubbing your toe results in a painful feeling, and sitting on a chair that is neither comfortable nor uncomfortable feels neutral.

More importantly, the Buddha says that whether you’re an ordinary person or an accomplished monk, you still experience these feelings. (This will disappoint anyone who expects spiritual awakening to remove pain from their lives…) But then what distinguishes between those who have cultivated their minds and those who haven’t? The Buddha says:

When an unlearned ordinary person experiences painful physical feelings, they sorrow and wail … falling into confusion. They experience two feelings: physical and mental.

When they’re touched by painful feeling, they resist it. The underlying tendency for aversion toward painful feeling underlies that…

It’s like a person who is struck with an arrow, only to be struck with a second arrow. That person experiences the feeling of two arrows…

Sallatha Sutta; SN 36.6

Some commentators believe the Buddha is strictly speaking about bodily feelings here. Others, myself included, find it more useful to focus on the bodily aspect of any feeling whatsoever. Let me demonstrate how this reading can serve us.

A painful feeling arises within the body. The pain may not have a physical source—it may come from the hurtful words of somebody close—but it arises as some kind of physical discomfort in the chest, the throat, the stomach, or elsewhere. This is the first arrow we receive, courtesy of life, and we can call that “pain”. We don’t like pain, so we immediately start feeling miserable for feeling miserable. This, then, is the second arrow we receive, courtesy of ourselves, and we can call that “suffering”.

The first mistake ordinary people make is that we feel bad for feeling bad. But here’s one detail easy to overlook: the Buddha says that we resist pain due to an “underlying tendency for aversion toward painful feeling”. In other words, our resistance to pain is not a choice, but an unconscious, automatic reaction. And it leads us straight into our second mistake: we try to feel good.

The Buddha says:

When touched by painful feeling, [ordinary people] look forward to enjoying sensual pleasures. Why is that? Because [they don’t] understand any escape from painful feeling apart from sensual pleasures... [T]he underlying tendency to desire for pleasant feeling underlies that.

They don’t truly understand feelings’ origin, disappearance, gratification, drawback, and escape. The underlying tendency to ignorance about neutral feeling underlies that.

If they feel a pleasant feeling, they feel it attached. If they feel a painful feeling, they feel it attached. If they feel a neutral feeling, they feel it attached... They are attached to suffering, I say.

Sallatha Sutta; SN 36.6

These lines have been analysed and discussed for centuries, so don’t worry if they don’t sink in immediately. We’ll go over them slowly.

An ordinary person experiences a painful feeling. Her mind is distracted and unaware of its own mechanics, so it instinctively deepens the painful feeling with the added mental resistance to it. The pain, now fermented into suffering, is too much to bear, so the mind looks for an escape. And here we arrive at a curious but profound statement: ordinary people don’t know of any escape from suffering other than pleasure.

Different people react to suffering differently, of course. Some flee from their depression in the gym; others in pornography. Some fight boredom with books, others with Instagram. Some find satisfaction in helping people, and others in hurting people. Obviously, some methods are more constructive than others, but the underlying mechanism is the same. There is some painful feeling (like loneliness, sadness, anxiety, etc.), and we seek to replace it with a pleasurable feeling. We don’t do this consciously, but again due to an “underlying tendency to desire for pleasant feeling”. It’s just how we’re wired.

But having fled from suffering into pleasure, we become “attached” to the pleasant feeling. We lose all objectivity about it, mistaking it for salvation from suffering. Eating a slice of cheesecake turns into an obsession, smoking turns into a lifeline, and even a healthy habit like working out degenerates into an opiate, into a way out of feeling what we are actually feeling. Being attached to a pleasant feeling, we do not perceive it as a feeling, as something fleeting and unreliable. The Buddha puts it more precisely:

[Ordinary people] don’t truly understand feelings’ origin, disappearance, gratification, drawback, and escape. The underlying tendency to ignorance about neutral feeling underlies that.

Sallatha Sutta; SN 36.6

This statement is full of technical terms, and we’ll return to it. For now, notice that twist at the end. The Buddha has now demonstrated how ordinary people react compulsively to both pain and pleasure due to underlying—or unconscious—tendencies. This is bad news, because anything unconscious is terribly difficult to change through conscious effort. The least we can do is understand why we have these underlying tendencies and what feeds them. So, why do we resist pain and pursue pleasure?

Here is what I think the Buddha would answer, based on this sutta and on his teaching of dependent origination. We have an unhealthy relationship with pain and pleasure due to ignorance, but that ignorance arises long before we experience either pain or pleasure. It arises through our “ignore-ance” of neutral feelings, feelings that are neither painful nor pleasurable. Since neutral feelings are unremarkable, they are our best opportunity to study the nature of feeling objectively. And yet exactly because they are unremarkable, we mostly ignore them. For example, we don’t notice that we are bored; we simply reach for the phone, or we start ruminating about yesterday’s argument… This is how ignorance evolves into desire for pleasure and into aversion to pain. Thus, ignorance, desire, and aversion create a closed loop of suffering that imprisons most of us for our entire lives. It is easy to despair once we comprehend how efficiently we are producing our own suffering. As the Buddha points out:

… an unlearned ordinary person doesn’t understand any escape from painful feeling apart from sensual pleasures.

Sallatha Sutta; SN 36.6

But this is exactly the difference between an ordinary person and a skilful disciple of the Buddha. The latter understands how the trap works and how to get out of it.

Part II. A Learned Noble Disciple

Let’s see how the Buddha describes a skilful person’s relationship with feeling:

When a learned noble disciple experiences painful physical feelings they don’t sorrow or wail or lament … They experience one feeling: physical, not mental.

It’s like a person who is struck with an arrow, but was not struck with a second arrow…

When they’re touched by painful feeling, they don’t resist it. There’s no underlying tendency for aversion toward painful feeling underlying that.

When touched by painful feeling they don’t look forward to enjoying sensual pleasures. Why is that? Because a learned noble disciple understands an escape from painful feeling apart from sensual pleasures … there’s no underlying tendency to desire for pleasant feeling underlying that.

They truly understand feelings’ origin, disappearance, gratification, drawback, and escape. There’s no underlying tendency to ignorance about neutral feeling underlying that.

If they feel a pleasant feeling, they feel it detached. If they feel a painful feeling, they feel it detached. If they feel a neutral feeling, they feel it detached… They are detached from suffering, I say.

Sallatha Sutta; SN 36.6

You’ll notice the Buddha mostly describes the mistakes a skilful person doesn’t make. He also mentions the three underlying tendencies—aversion to pain, desire for pleasure, and ignorance of neutral feeling—as inactive in skilful individuals. While that does sound nice, it doesn’t really say how we ourselves can process feelings this way. We get only a hint in one curious line: “a learned noble disciple understands an escape from painful feeling apart from sensual pleasures”. Now this may be the key we are missing.

Had we only this sutta to go on, the Buddha’s words could serve for all kinds of theories, interpretations, and spiritual mumbo jumbo. Thankfully, the whole collection of early Buddhist scripture has survived, and if a term shows up without elaboration in one sutta, we can find it defined in another.

To learn what the Buddha means by “escape from painful feeling apart from sensual pleasures”, let’s briefly move to one of the most memorable and touching scenes within the Canon. It is a childhood memory the Buddha recalls at a moment of profound desperation. At this point in his journey, he had mastered the techniques of the best gurus of his time, and had pushed himself almost to the point of death, but liberation was still out of reach. It was then, when his best efforts had failed him, that the memory came:

‘I recall that when my father the Sakyan was occupied, while I was sitting in the cool shade of a rose-apple tree, quite secluded from sensual pleasures, secluded from unwholesome states, I entered upon and abided in the first jhāna…

Then, following on that memory, came the realisation: ‘That is indeed the path to enlightenment… I am not afraid of that pleasure since it has nothing to do with sensual pleasures and unwholesome states.’

Mahāsaccaka Sutta; MN 36

To understand this fascinating passage, we must know what the Pāli word jhāna means. Jhāna is the Buddha’s trademark meditation technique. It is meant to purify the mind through several ever-deepening stages of absorption, leading straight into enlightenment and liberation. The tradition refers to the different stages of it as “the first jhāna”, “the second jhāna”, and so on. If you want to learn more, you can watch my interview with Mugen Roshi, who is an authorised teacher of jhāna meditation.

But for all the apparent complexity of jhāna, the Buddha says he first experienced it by accident as a child. He had no teacher, he practised no technique, he knew no mantras or asanas… He was just a kid resting in the shade of a tree. And it was then that his mind naturally entered a pleasurable state which, in his own words, “has nothing to do with sensual pleasures and unwholesome states”.

Decades later, having become the greatest teacher of his age, the Buddha had complete understanding and mastery of meditation. By then, he could point out precisely where we can find that pleasure which is not of the senses:

And what is pleasure not of the flesh? There is the case where a monk — quite withdrawn from sensual pleasures, withdrawn from unskillful qualities — enters & remains in the first jhāna [or] the second jhāna [or] the third jhāna…

Niramisa Sutta; SN 36.31

I won’t go into the different stages of jhāna here, as this is a whole different discussion, but let me know in the comments if you want me to explore it in the future. For now, we are only searching for what the Buddha means by an “escape from painful feeling apart from sensual pleasures”—the key to facing pain without resistance.

Some interpreters identify this escape with the non-sensual pleasure of mental absorption; they identify it with jhāna. Now, it would be absurd to imagine that any time a monk stubs his toe, he sits down for a thirty-minute meditation! We must remember that the Buddha’s first experience of jhāna occurred when he was not “meditating” at all. He was “just sitting”, as they sometimes say in Zen. Instead of using the intimidating term jhāna, let’s use that image of a child at rest, which is familiar to all of us. We can then paraphrase the Buddha’s words like this:

When [skilful individuals] are touched by painful feeling, they don’t resist it… they don’t look forward to enjoying sensual pleasures. [They understand] an escape from painful feeling apart from sensual pleasures …

[Like children at rest, their minds unoccupied, they know of a kind of pleasure which is independent of the senses. Nourished by that pleasure, they do not resist painful feelings, they do not desire pleasurable feelings, and they do not ignore neutral feelings.]

Sallatha Sutta; SN 36.6

This is how a skilful individual escapes pain without the need to resist it or to compensate for it with pleasure. But this skilful kind of escape is different from how we normally imagine escape from pain.

When ordinary people get struck by one arrow (meaning pain), we immediately want to get rid of it. Our escape from pain is essentially the non-acceptance of pain; this, ironically, adds the second arrow (meaning suffering).

When a skilful individual gets struck by one arrow (pain), their escape actually consists of allowing the pain to be there. Accepting the arrow that’s struck them is what prevents the second arrow (suffering). So, when the Buddha speaks of “an escape from painful feeling apart from sensual pleasures”, he doesn’t mean some kind of trance state that makes us numb to pain. On the contrary, he is explicit in that a skilful individual does receive the first arrow. The Canon records that the Buddha himself often had backaches. (Meditating your way to nibbāna will do that...) We also know that he died in excruciating pain. So, the first arrow stays. Our very desire to get rid of the first arrow is the second arrow that strikes us.

The point of cultivating the mind is not to make it so dull that it doesn’t register pain. The Buddha’s approach is actually to make the mind even more sensitive, so that it gains access to a new source of support that makes desire, aversion, and ignorance unnecessary. And this doesn’t happen through some feat of willpower. It happens through developing insight into the nature of feelings, into the nature of reality itself. In the final part of this essay, let’s see what that insight is, and how we can apply it ourselves.

Part III. Liberating Insight

Let’s return to that passage from Sallatha Sutta where the Buddha describes how skilful individuals process feelings:

They truly understand feelings’ origin, disappearance, gratification, drawback, and escape…

If they feel a pleasant feeling, they feel it detached. If they feel a painful feeling, they feel it detached. If they feel a neutral feeling, they feel it detached…

They are detached from suffering, I say.

Sallatha Sutta; SN 36.6

The above is the Buddha’s summary of how we can skilfully process our feelings—painful, pleasurable, and neutral alike. The Buddha means something very specific by every term here, so let’s go over the passage slowly. We will do so using an example familiar to all of us, which is being hurt by the words of another.

Somebody, often a loved one, says something that wounds us. We may try to resist the hurt (pretending like we’re above it or it didn’t happen) or we may seek to compensate for it with pleasure (like the pleasure of saying something mean back or the pleasure of our favourite drink). If, however, we’ve been trained by the Buddha, we will be aware of “feelings’ origin, disappearance, gratification, drawback, and escape”. Let’s unpack this five-fold understanding.

The Origin of Feeling

Buddhist philosophy defines the origin of feeling as contact. (We’ve covered this in my essay on Dependent Origination.) The words of our loved one come into contact with our ears, and their meaning comes into contact with our mind: as a result, a painful feeling arises.

The Disappearance of Feeling

The disappearance of feeling comes with the disappearance of contact. Once we are no longer hearing our loved one’s words and once our mind is no longer dwelling on them, the painful feeling disappears, having lost its support.

Now, for the gratification, drawback, and escape from feeling, we can get clear definitions from another discourse of the Buddha, the Sattatthana Sutta.

The Gratification of Feeling

The gratification of feeling, he says, is pleasure and happiness. As naive as it may sound when you say it out loud, what we all really want is to feel good, and if possible—to feel good all the time. This obsession with pleasure and happiness makes the mind biased and impatient with feeling, clinging to it when it is pleasurable, resisting it when it is painful, and ignoring it when it is neutral.

The Drawback of Feeling

The drawback of feeling is that it is impermanent and constantly changing. Hence, any pleasure and happiness we might find in feeling is temporary, and our clinging to it always results in suffering.

The Escape from Feeling

As for the escape from feeling, here are the Buddha’s exact words:

Removing and giving up desire and greed for feeling: this is its escape.

Sattatthana Sutta; SN 22.57

We have escaped feeling when we have released our hold on it, when we no longer insist that it should be pleasant, or really that it should be anything other than what it presently is.

So, when somebody’s words hurt us, the skilful escape from the hurt is simply staying mindful of that feeling without any agenda to make it go away. Understanding the impermanence of feeling, we know the hurt will leave on its own; all we have to do is not get in the way. And we have the same attitude regardless of whether the words we hear are painful, pleasurable, or neutral. As the Buddha says:

If [skilful individuals] feel a pleasant feeling, they feel it detached. If they feel a painful feeling, they feel it detached. If they feel a neutral feeling, they feel it detached…

They are detached from suffering, I say.

Sallatha Sutta; SN 36.6

Remember, all of this becomes possible once we are familiar with that escape from feeling other than pleasure. That is, the ability of the mind to rest in self-sufficiency, needing and seeking no external sources of pleasure. This is the state of jhāna, which is, as we learned, nothing other than the childlike joy of a clear and restful mind.

Now, let’s see how we can put all we’ve learned into practice the next time we are overwhelmed by feeling.

Putting the Teaching into Practice

The key to everything we’ve covered is noticing. Noticing when a feeling arises and noticing it as a feeling. Noticing our tendency to resist and flee from painful feelings. Noticing our tendency to pursue and cling to pleasurable feelings. And also, noticing our tendency to ignore neutral feelings. The point is not to try to stop the mind’s reactions, which are automatic anyway. The point is rather to notice the mind in the act of desire, aversion, or ignorance. The noticing itself punctures the reactivity of the mind, and allows us to respond to feeling skilfully. It allows us to process our experience through the five-fold understanding.

We remember that feelings appear with the stimulation of our sense organs and disappear when our sense organs are no longer stimulated. Seeing them as such, we realise feelings are impersonal and impermanent. They are not us, and they do not belong to us. And as the Buddha says, letting go of what is not ours is for our long-term welfare and happiness.

We remember that the mind is wired to seek joy in feelings, but that any joy it finds there is temporary and leads to further craving and disappointment. We realise that the only true escape from this trap is to drop our preferences for feelings. Holding on to nothing, resisting nothing, we simply notice what arises.

All of this, of course, is easier said than done, and it is impossible if pleasure is the only escape from suffering at our disposal. To process feelings skilfully, we must cultivate the mind’s innate capacity for restful and awake presence. Centred in the non-sensual pleasure of jhāna, the mind is like a deeply rooted tree and can withstand the winds of pain, pleasure, and neutral feeling. Feelings persist for as long as they must, but the mind is no longer tethered to them. Pain does not give rise to suffering, pleasure does not give rise to desire, and neutral feelings do not give rise to ignorance. As the Buddha concludes in Sallatha Sutta:

[Regarding the skilful and well-instructed,]

Desirable things don’t disturb their mind,

nor are they repelled by the undesirable.

Both favoring and opposing

are cleared and ended, and are no more.

Sallatha Sutta; SN 36.6

Again, all of this happens not through harsh discipline, great effort, or through the dulling of the senses. It happens as a natural consequence of sustained noticing and allowing. Notice and allow whatever comes to come. Notice and allow whatever goes to go. Most importantly, remember that all that is of the nature to come is also of the nature to go. This is the path to freedom.

To see the Buddha’s insights into suffering in a different light, I invite you to my essay that puts them in dialogue with Nietzsche’s philosophy. Thank you for reading, and remember: What you seek is seeking you.

Simeon, October 2026

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Lately, I’ve been reading Evelyn Underhill’s masterpiece, Mysticism, as research for my next video essay. The book contains many accounts of mystics (mostly from the Christian tradition) who describe their experiences, challenges, and revelations in their own words. I was reading the chapter on the Dark Night of the Soul when I came across this line, which the German friar Henry Suso received from what he calls “Eternal Wisdom” in one of his visions:

“No one can attain divine exaltation or singular sweetness except by passing through the image of My human abasement and bitterness. The higher one climbs without passing through My humanity, the deeper one falls. My humanity is the way one must go, My Passion the gate through which one must penetrate, to arrive at that which thou seekest.”

(Buchlein der ewigen Weisheit, trans. 1910)

Suso’s own biography is a striking example of this. Born with the sensibilities of a mystic, a poet, and a metaphysician, he spent his early life confined in his monastery cell. A voluntary recluse, he spent his time in strict devotion and contemplation, receiving many visions and writing what would become some of the most popular works of the period. It was a life that suited him—introverted and socially awkward as he was. He also practiced punishing self-mortification (carrying a nail-studded cross on his bare back for years), seeking to transcend the needs of the body. People may not have understood him, or even liked him very much, but they respected him.

In his fortieth year, Suso received a vision which told him his brutal ascetic practices were no longer necessary. He rejoiced and cast his self-torture equipment into the river… Only to receive a further vision soon after, which told him that his true hardship was only about to begin. In another vision, he was invited into the “Upper School” of God, where apprentices study the supreme art: that of “Perfect Self-abandonment”.

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The short version is: I am returning to the video essays as my focus, and I am improving the way I reward paid supporters without putting my work behind a paywall.

The long version is as follows…

A few years ago I gave myself a deadline: “If you can’t make SEEKER TO SEEKER work by the time you turn 30, let it go and move on to something else.” I didn’t really define what it means to “make SEEKER TO SEEKER work”, and turning 30 seemed far enough away to not worry too much about the details… But then, last month, I turned 29.

By now, at least, I know what “making it work” means for me. It is 3 simple things, really:

1. producing work that is meaningful (for others and for myself),

2. working in a way that nourishes my life rather than draining it, and

3. securing financial comfort for my family.

My birthday reminded me that I posted my first video 6 years ago, yet I’ve never been able to check all these 3 boxes at the same time. I’ve never quite “made it work”. Clearly, I needed to take a step back and reconsider my approach. Instead of doing that alone, I realized I could reach out to the people who care the most about SEEKER TO SEEKER and ask for their thoughts. So, I reached out to you.

I hoped that at least 20 of you would fill out the survey I posted, so that I’d get more representative feedback. What I received were 149 responses, many of them whole paragraphs of encouragement, gratitude, and constructive criticism. This response in itself was a powerful reminder that this work goes beyond my personal relationship with it and affects the lives of people I’ll never meet or even hear from. Strangers, but also brothers and sisters in life, as one of you wrote. Each on our own unique path, yet all of us sharing the journey.

The responses from that survey confirmed what I felt was the key mistake I’ve made in the last couple of years: I started thinking less like an artist and more like a content creator. After a severe burnout, I started exploring alternatives to the slow and difficult work the video essays require, and in the process started doing less of what you (and I myself) value the most. So, one commitment I am making for the next year is to return to the work that made SEEKER TO SEEKER what it is—the video essays—and prioritize it over everything else. The first piece of this new cycle is already out:

What surprised me was that one of my deepest anxieties—that I don’t post often enough—is something almost none of you care about. What matters to most of you is the depth of the essays, not how often they come out. So, from now on, I’m setting myself the modest goal of releasing 1 video essay every 2 months (with a podcast or livestream in the months in between). This will allow me to give each piece the time and care it deserves without the constant stress of feeling behind, which has plagued my work for so long.

I also put a lot of thought into how to better serve my paid supporters (on YouTube, Patreon, and Substack). In fact, I met with a couple of Patreon reps to get their advice as well. The truth is, my work would be completely unsustainable if I had to rely on YouTube ad revenue alone. Those of you who are providing me with financial support really do keep SEEKER TO SEEKER alive, and I want to find a way of giving back without putting my work behind a paywall for the wider audience. So, here is what I came up with…

My work (the video essays, podcasts, livestreams, and Reflections) will remain free. Paid supporters will unlock benefits that allow them to connect with me and one another (our monthly group calls), see more behind-the-scenes work and thoughts (my monthly letters), and submit questions for me and for podcast guests to respond to. I hope this new approach will allow me to reward supporters with connection without depriving the wider audience of anything I produce. As for those of you who are unable to join for financial reasons: know that reading, watching, sharing, and commenting on the work is already of real help, and I thank you for it!

You can see the full set of supporter benefits on Patreon.

There was a lot more in the survey responses that I won’t go into here. I’ve read every response carefully and taken notes, and what you shared will help me shape the future of SEEKER TO SEEKER.

Thank you for sticking with me, supporting my work, and being patient as I learn how to do this a bit more wisely. Wherever the next twelve months take me, I will keep striving to create the most valuable and meaningful work I can.

With love and gratitude,

Simeon

P.S. For those of you who like numbers, here are some from the survey:

• 111 of the 149 respondents wrote something in their own words

• 80% said the long essays are the one thing they’d keep if they had to choose

• 1 person asked for more frequent uploads, while nearly 20 told me, unprompted, to take my time

• 27 of 31 channel supporters who answered said they support just to help the work continue (not for any benefits)

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I sat down cross-legged, my back straight, and I closed my eyes. My mind was a confusion of images reflecting my activities, thoughts, and desires from the day. I did not try to make the images disappear (I know better by now); I simply continued to sit still, noticing whatever arose.

It wasn’t easy. I would notice the mind’s activity with detachment, and then (what seemed a moment later) I would notice that I had been thinking about the mind’s activity for the past minute or so. I would feel embarrassed for being so unstable in my mindfulness, but noticing the embarrassment would instantly restore that mindfulness I feared had been lost. My mind continued to chase its own tail this way for a while… Until my teacher entered the room.

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This is a reminder that we’ll have our monthly group call this time tomorrow. Our calls are a great way to connect with other seekers and exchange insights, questions, and experiences on the path we share. And this time, we will have a more focused discussion on the Buddha’s no-self teaching.

Here are the details, again:

🗓 Date: September 26…

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Where in your life has taking more ownership helped? And where has loosening your grip on “me and mine” helped?

I’m writing to invite you to our next group call this Saturday (September 26th), which will be an open discussion of the Buddha’s no-self teaching.

Recently, I revisited this core insight of the Buddha and discovered a new perspective on it (from Ṭhānissaro Bhikkhu), which I presented in a live lecture. There is no need to prepare for our discussion, but if you’d like some extra resources, you can:

• watch my live lecture

or

• read the essay it was based on

I’d love to explore the no-self insight with you and to have an open discussion on how we can each go deeper into it in our own lives.

🗓 Date: September 26th, 2026

🕖 Time: 12:00 PM ET / 9:00 AM PT / 5:00 PM UK

⏳ Duration: 60-90 minutes

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Today is my birthday, and I have a birthday wish for those of you with a couple of minutes to spare.

Some of you have followed my work for a while and will have noticed the changes it’s gone through in the last couple of years. These include new formats (podcasts, livestreams, a newsletter, etc.), new platforms (Substack, Patreon), a digital product (the Shadow Workbook), and exclusive benefits for channel supporters.

Some of these experiments have been more successful than others, and I’ve learned a lot from all of them… But now it’s time for some reflection, and for decisions on where to go with my work.

That is why, on the occasion of my birthday, I want to initiate a rebirth of SEEKER TO SEEKER. I already have a few ideas on what to change, what to return, and what to abandon. But before I set course, I would love to hear your feedback.

The distance you have from this work (and your own experience of it) is something I can’t reproduce from the inside. Any feedback and constructive criticism will be precious to me, and will help shape the future of SEEKER TO SEEKER.

I have created this anonymous, 5-minute form for you to share your thoughts on my work.

I will read every response, and I will share what I’ve learned—and my decisions—in the coming weeks.

Thank you for all the support, inspiration, and feedback you have already given me. I would not be able to do this work without you, and walking this path with you is the privilege of a lifetime.

With love and gratitude,

Simeon

Jesus could have chosen a more comfortable cross—but He didn’t. He could have worked a deus ex machina, summoning the hand of God to smite His captors and shield Him from injustice. He could have pleaded with the Romans to use ropes, not nails… But He didn’t.

Jesus knew, I think, that wherever He could go and whatever He could do, He would only find the same cross: His cross. He knew that the only true escape from the cross is victory over the cross, and the only true victory is love. Eighteen centuries later, Nietzsche (the most Christian of Antichrists) writes:

“My formula for greatness in a human being is amor fati: that one wants nothing to be different—not forward, not backward, not in all eternity. Not merely bear what is necessary, still less conceal it… but love it.”

—Friedrich Nietzsche, Ecce Homo

How often do our eyes scan the horizon for a more comfortable cross to die on? How often do we think “If only…” and ask “Why me?” Even Jesus died with that question on His lips:

“My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”

(Matthew 27:46, Mark 15:34).

Falling short of greatness, as Nietzsche would have it.

But love requires more than greatness; it requires victory even over victory itself—until love is all that remains.

May we know our cross and love it,

Simeon

Suggested Reading

The Crucified God by Jürgen Moltmann

What does it mean that God’s answer to suffering was to suffer? In The Crucified God, Jürgen Moltmann refuses to treat the cry of dereliction as an embarrassment to faith and makes it the centre of it — a God who does not rescue from the cross but enters it.

Order here to support SEEKER TO SEEKER at no extra cost. You can also browse my personal list of favourite books here.

Before becoming the Buddha, Siddhartha Gautama studies under the greatest ascetics and meditation teachers of his time. He masters their techniques, and each teacher, in turn, offers to make him his successor. But Siddhartha always moves on, disappointed. His fierce search for liberation takes him to the brink of death, but even then he remains trapped in the labyrinth of his own mind.

What finally points the future Buddha the way, in the midst of exhaustion and despair, is a childhood memory:

“I recall once, when my father the Sakyan was working, and I was sitting in the cool shade of a rose-apple tree [that I experienced] rapture & pleasure born from seclusion, accompanied by directed thought & evaluation…’

“Then following on that memory came the realization: ‘That is the path to Awakening.’”

Mahāsaccaka Sutta; MN 36

The first and final secret of liberation, nirvāṇa, the Kingdom of Heaven, the good life, or whatever we like to call it, may be this: that it is simpler than anything we might imagine. As simple as a child resting in the shade of a tree.

Whenever we stray from what is simple—may we return,

Simeon

Suggested Reading

Selected Poems by R. S. Thomas

“RS Thomas was the greatest religious poet writing in English in the 20th century... His poems are an expression of his lifelong argument with himself, of his insistent search for God… His is an urgent, prophetic and unique voice.” (Amazon book description)

Order here to support SEEKER TO SEEKER at no extra cost. You can also browse my personal list of favourite books here.

Dear friends,

Are you focused on feeling GOOD, or are you focused on FEELING good? Modern psychology says that this distinction is a strong predictor of the quality of our lives.

I’ve been reading up on Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (or ACT) recently—a secular, science-based form of therapy that shares a surprising number of insights with Buddhism. One of these insights is that resisting or trying to “fix” difficult emotions only makes them worse. Countless studies have shown that the most reliable “technique” for facing suffering (or anxiety, desire, anger, etc.) is simply to allow ourselves to experience it. To feel it as it actually arises in the body-mind here and now. We don’t seek a way out of suffering; we feel our way through it and come out whole on the other side.

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I will also be responding to questions from the chat, so make sure you join and submit yours!

You can watch the lecture live (or in replay) here:

I hope this brings some extra clarity and motivation to your journey!

With love and gratitude,

Simeon

If “all phenomena are not-self” (as the Buddha says), then who inherits past karma, who gets reborn, and who becomes enlightened? And why did the Buddha reject every idea of a self while refusing to say that the self doesn’t exist?

I invite you to explore these questions and more on my upcoming live stream on YouTube this Saturday (August 29th) at 12:00 PM ET / 9:00 AM PT.

I’ve explored the Buddha’s no-self teaching before, but I recently discovered a new perspective on it that I want to share with you. It is a perspective that makes sense of the self view, the no-self view, and the letting go of views as stages of the same path to awakening.

I’ll spend most of the live stream discussing the Buddha’s landmark teaching as found in the original suttas of the Pali Canon. After the lecture, there will be time for Q&A where I will address your questions and thoughts.

I look forward to going live with you on Saturday! You can find the stream page here: https://youtube.com/live/ro2YSSHwU98?feature=share

With love and gratitude,

Simeon

I came across this tweet by Naval Ravikant:

“The only true test of intelligence is if you get what you want out of life.”

The most perceptive and skillful among us (the argument goes) are those who best know how to fulfil their desires.

The tweet has appealed to many: shared 10,000 times, saved 11,000 times, and liked by 43,000 accounts. It is a tenet that vindicates both the pursuit of one’s desires and the exploitation of others’ desires, making all participants in our consumerist culture happy.

For the Buddha, a skillful (or “intelligent”) person is one who finds and applies the answer to the following question:

“[W]hat, having been done by me, will be for my long-term welfare & happiness?”

Cūḷa Kammavibhaṅga Sutta; MN 135

Maybe getting what we want out of life will be for our long-term welfare & happiness… Maybe not. Until we understand desire—where it comes from and what it leads to—putting our intelligence in full service to it is unintelligent indeed.

May we desire intelligently,

Simeon

Suggested Reading

To Have or To Be? by Erich Fromm

Erich Fromm, one of the twentieth century’s clearest psychological critics of consumer life, argued that two modes compete for every human life: having, which measures a life by what it acquires, and being, which measures it by what it becomes.

Order here to support SEEKER TO SEEKER at no extra cost. You can also browse my personal list of favourite books here.

Dear friends,

We’ll have our community group call this time tomorrow. This is a great way to connect with other seekers and exchange stories, insights, and questions on the path we share. Here are the details again:

🗓 Date: August 22nd

🕖 Time: 12:00 PM ET / 9:00 AM PT

📍 Sign Up: https://us06web.zoom.us/meeting/register/pLZ2FZ8CTWqHcg7NZyGB0Q

Remember, you…

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Dear friends,

Inner exploration can be a solitary journey, and there can be few opportunities in our everyday lives for conversations on the meaning of life, the nature of reality, and the challenges of self-discovery. Our seeker’s community, however, is ripe for such deep discussions and is already full of people interested in having them.

I’m writing to invite you to the next SEEKER TO SEEKER group call this Saturday (August 22nd), which is an opportunity for everyone to share (and hear others share) personal moments of learning, challenge, or transformation from recent weeks. I have been hosting these calls for my supporters on YouTube and Patreon for some time now, and I think it is only natural to make you, my supporters on Substack, part of them, too.

(I should have done so long ago…)

Our group video calls on Zoom are a great way to connect with fellow seekers, find support and inspiration, and hear different perspectives on the path we all share. There is also no requirement to speak, so you are free to join and simply listen. I hope to make the calls a monthly ritual for our community going forward.

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Most of us cannot explain the grammar of the languages we speak. This doesn’t keep us from using that grammar almost perfectly in the most sophisticated ways every day. The structure of language is invisible to us precisely because it underlies our thought patterns, not despite it. We can think about grammar analytically, but we are fluent in a language only to the degree that we don’t have to think about it when we speak it. Language ceases to be an object and is experienced as part of the subject.

The same principle applies to other unconscious contents. We are “fluent” in our traumas, our projections, and our defense mechanisms only when we are unaware of them. With our rational, conscious minds, we may wonder why we seem to make the same mistakes over and over again, while the unconscious “grammar” of our psyche dictates our every thought, word, and action. As Jung is quoted as saying: “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”

Most of all, we are “fluent” in our self-identity, the first and last concern of our conscious lives. As Yogācāra Buddhists pointed out centuries ago, a mental stream identifies as a self precisely to the degree that it is ignorant of the fact it is doing so. A deep enough glimpse into how the mind constructs the self can break the spell, and the mental stream wakes up from the dream of being you. Free of language, the mind can rest in silent and unutterable “thusness”.

May thought terminate in understanding,

Simeon

Suggested Reading

I Am a Strange Loop by Douglas R. Hofstadter

Where does the felt sense of “I” actually come from? Douglas Hofstadter proposes that a self is not a substance but a pattern, a loop of symbols folding back on themselves until an “I” seems to appear, real enough to grieve and love and mistake for solid ground. Los Angeles Times Book Prize Winner, 2007.

Order here to support SEEKER TO SEEKER at no extra cost. You can also browse my personal list of favourite books here.

Dear friends,

There is a Bulgarian movie called The World Is Big and Salvation Lurks Around the Corner, based on the novel by the same name. I’ve neither seen the movie nor read the novel, but the title is not something you forget easily.

The past month has been quite difficult for me. By now, I’ve learned that inner healing usually involves an encounter with long-avoided hurt… But it is one thing to know this as a principle, and quite another to experience it anew. And yet this latest cycle of my journey has brought me a new understanding of healing.

I now know I’ve been fleeing from suffering for most of my conscious life—through compulsive behavior and thinking, through workaholism, perfectionism, and countless other semi-conscious avoidance strategies. It took years of personal work and therapy for me to discover that fact. It took me decades to understand that sometimes (often) the healthiest thing you can do about suffering is to just allow yourself to experience it.

As soon as I recognized my avoidance of difficult emotions, I swung to the other extreme, and my defense mechanisms adopted a new strategy: trying to solve suffering. Now my response became mindfulness, or rather, an aggressive, impatient attempt at mindfulness. My assumption was that if I just concentrated my awareness in the right way, it would dissolve every experience that is not peaceful, joyful, and loving. Our “original mind” is free of defilements and suffering, the Buddhists say, so I concluded that if I was suffering, that just meant I was not mindful enough.

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