I am happy to present my second conversation with Peter Russell, where we speak about his new book, How to Meditate Without Even Trying. Peter and I go deep into both the practical and the metaphysical side of meditation, and he explains how relaxing into the practice can lead us deeper than our best efforts could.

I think this episode will be useful for anyone who has ever felt they are “bad” at meditation, unable to quiet the mind, or unsure how to bring practice into ordinary life. Peter and I explore the fundamentals of meditation, how to stick with it even with a busy schedule, what to do when thoughts and strong emotions appear, and how not to turn it into avoidance of the personal work we have to do. We also had a deep discussion on a few audience-submitted questions, and I thank everyone who helped shape the conversation!

Thank you all for your support, kind comments, and feedback! I hope you find this episode useful, and know that I couldn’t do this work without you.

With love and gratitude,

Simeon

Suggested Reading

How To Meditate Without Even Trying by Peter Russell

Order here to support SEEKER TO SEEKER at no extra cost. You can also browse my personal list of favourite books here.

“This once, but never again,” we hear a curse in the moment. And we toil at loud things to ring out through the ages, and at monuments to stand the test of time. But there is no test. From silence we come and to silence we return, along with our names and all we have named.

So we imagine our gods eternal, as we fail to perceive the divine in the moment. We argue for truths universal, as the relative slips the grasp of our minds. We close our eyes to the here and now and retreat into dreams of heavens. This desertion of life is called wisdom and faith by many!

We assume God so weak as to need to be eternal, truth so poor as to have to be universal, and heaven so distant as to be other than life. We assume that, like all else, these would burn away if placed in the furnace of time. And we don’t allow for the possibility that they may be the very spark of the present. What if it is a blessing that the moment carries?

“This once and never again… But forever!”

May we bless the moment back,

Simeon

Suggested Reading

The Sabbath by Abraham Joshua Heschel

What if eternity does not stand beyond time, but opens within it? In The Sabbath, Abraham Joshua Heschel teaches us to enter time as a sanctuary, where the fleeting moment is not an obstacle to the sacred but its very dwelling place.

Order here to support SEEKER TO SEEKER at no extra cost. You can also browse my personal list of favourite books here.

Dear friends,

I started working on something recently, and I want to share a bit about it with you. Any thoughts or feedback you could give me on it would be very valuable!

I’ve done a number of pieces now on shadow integration (working with the difficult parts of our inner life). Your comments on these have shown me just how universal this topic is and that it remains relevant at all stages of the path. So, I’m thinking of creating a tool that can aid shadow work, regardless of a person’s experience.

What I have in mind is a digital, printable workbook on shadow integration. It will be based on the work of key depth psychologists like Carl Jung, Erich Neumann, Liliane Frey-Rohn, and others. I see the workbook as containing brief theoretical explanations, followed by exercises adapted from the writings of the authors. The workbook will offer a structured path through the three stages Jung outlined: Recognition, Listening, Negotiation. This builds on the video on shadow integration I made last year: https://www.seekertoseeker.com/p/face-your-demons-and-grow

I imagine the workbook as something you spend 20 minutes per day on for a week or two and that guides you in encountering and making peace with those aspects of yourself you find most difficult to accept. Some of the exercises can be redone periodically as you deepen your understanding of your shadow.

This is the idea in brief. The workbook will be priced, but if anyone needs it and can’t afford it, they can reach out, and I’ll provide it for a symbolic price.

And here are some questions I have for you:

• Would you use this workbook if I create it?

• What would make it more valuable to you?

• Does €15 feel like a fair price for it?

I will be grateful for any feedback you can give me on this! If I go ahead with creating the workbook, your comments will help me shape it into the most useful tool for you.

Leave a comment

Working with my shadow has changed my life, and continues to change it. I hope this tool will open this experience to more people. Thank you for reading and for all your support!

With love and gratitude,

Simeon

Dear friends,

I’ve had something of a revelation recently that I want to share. It concerns a vulnerable, not-yet-healed part of myself, so I will approach it from somewhat farther away.

Lately, I’ve been reading J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings. A key element of the story is the One Ring, forged by the Dark Lord in the fires of Mount Doom. As evil spreads over the land, the people’s final hope rests with two unassuming friends tasked with sneaking the Ring back into the mountain where it was forged. Only by casting the Ring back into the fires it came from can it be destroyed, along with the evil that created it. It is a gripping story, but only recently have I begun to appreciate how meaningful it is.

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The story of how the Buddha converted a killer is, really, the story of each of us. We all have darkness within us, whether we know it or not. And often, the harder we try to be “good”, the more we deepen our inner conflict. Today, we will look at an ancient Buddhist story that depicts this psychological trap—and points the way out of it.

What follows is my personal retelling of Aṅgulimāla Sutta, which is one of the most striking pieces of Buddhist scripture. Here, I’ll present the story through a Jungian or symbolic lens to bring out its deep insights into human psychology.

This is a good place to pause and consider what the story is saying. Notice that the moment Aṅgulimāla spots the Buddha, the killer assumes he is being attacked. He cannot conceive of another reason why somebody might approach him. If we read the scene psychologically, we might ask ourselves:

In depth psychology, these repressed, unwanted parts of ourselves are known as the “shadow”, and we all have them. Like the townspeople in the story, we habitually avoid facing these loathsome thoughts, feelings, and urges of ours—or we outright deny having them. But how does the Buddha treat the killer Aṅgulimāla?

Notice how the story refers to the Buddha here:

That comes from the original sutta, not my retelling, and I think it is the heart of the message.

Only after being seen with compassion does Aṅgulimāla begin his transformation. Compassion, mind you, does not mean approval. At no point does the Buddha say, “Oh, I don’t mind you wearing human fingers around your neck; killing people is totally fine!” He does the opposite, in fact. He urges the killer to change his ways. But not as an accusation or condemnation. The Buddha extends his hand in invitation.

This ancient Buddhist sutta has many uncanny parallels with stories from the Gospels. Five centuries after the Buddha visited Aṅgulimāla, Christ would dine with tax collectors, prostitutes, and “sinners” of all stripes. Both He and the Buddha teach us that vice is not to be destroyed or conquered by virtue; vice must be transformed into virtue. And how does this miracle occur? Through the practice of compassionate seeing.

Now, let’s return to our story and see what more it has to teach us about inner transformation.

This part of Aṅgulimāla’s story reads more like a fairytale than Buddhist scripture, but it conveys profound insight nonetheless. To understand its psychological meaning, let’s apply some concepts from Jungian psychology.

Aṅgulimāla, as we saw, is a depiction of the shadow, or everything within us that we condemn. Everything we want to be rid of. King Pasenadi would then be a depiction of the ego, or our self-identity.

For most people, most of the time, the ego and the shadow are in constant conflict. For example, when I say, “I am a good person,” I identify with all my impulses to help others. These become part of my self-identity, part of my ego. But then, what happens to my anger, my envy, my hatred? Well, I deny having such feelings, so they get pushed away from the ego and become shadow. As a result, the more I seek to be good (or to see myself as good), the more divided I become.

When King Pasenadi describes how he’s been hunting Aṅgulimāla to no avail, this is a figurative description of our internal dynamics, the way the ego is constantly chasing its own shadow. But then the king discovers the killer transformed into a monk; the shadow has become light. The psychological equivalent of this is to see our vices turn out to be virtues, to see the worst within us turn into a force for good. You may wonder whether this is possible, and the king shares your disbelief. But the Buddha insists: “the killer you once hunted is the monk who has now quenched your thirst”. If the story claims such an inner transformation is possible, then how can we achieve it in our own lives?

The story is actually clear that we—meaning, our egos—cannot make it happen. The king tried everything, but never managed to catch Aṅgulimāla. Indeed, one of the core insights of depth psychology is that the ego’s efforts to overcome the shadow only feed the shadow further. Remember, the shadow is made of our attempts to get rid of certain aspects of ourselves. If we try to get rid of the shadow, we only give it more of what it is made of! For example, if we have anger issues, one sure strategy to perpetuate the problem is to keep telling ourselves, “I shouldn’t be angry!”

So, what can we do? Since the way of the king doesn’t work, we may try the way of the Buddha. How does the Buddha, using no force or deception, manage to convert a killer into a saint? Let’s examine the chain of events.

First, all the townspeople warn the Buddha not to enter the woods where Aṅgulimāla is hiding. What is the psychological significance of this?

We all have a tendency to avoid facing certain aspects of ourselves. We often prefer to explain away certain feelings, thoughts, or actions of ours, or to pretend like they are not there. This, of course, prevents us from engaging with exactly those aspects of our personality we most need to work on. If the Buddha had listened to the people, he would never have converted Aṅgulimāla, and the killer would have gone on to claim many more victims.

Next, we learn that the Buddha enters the forest unarmed, though he is aware of the danger lurking there. He goes to the killer as a “compassionate great seer”. To follow the Buddha’s example would mean to intentionally seek out everything within us that we find difficult to accept. But—and here is the key point—we must approach this difficult material not as adversaries, but as compassionate seers.

Shadow integration is subtle and often counterintuitive work. We learn that trying to get rid of the shadow is actually what sustains it. But then, if we try not to want to get rid of it in order to get rid of it, this is only a subtler form of the same issue, and the shadow persists.

The way to cut this Gordian knot is to accept that we really cannot destroy or fix, or transform the shadow—but we can allow it to transform itself. How? By giving it the one thing we’ve been depriving it of: compassionate seeing.

Only once we invite our darkness into the light of compassionate awareness can it begin to heal. In the story, remember, it was Aṅgulimāla who pleaded with the Buddha to accept him as a monk. All the Buddha did was visit Aṅgulimāla and offer him a hand, not approving his crimes, but not condemning him for them either.

Shadow integration is more of an art than a science. It is not a matter of mechanically following a formula like “observe your vices, don’t judge them, and they’ll change”. If we are using a formula, strategy, or technique, we are already approaching our shadow with condemnation, which only deepens our inner conflict. To heal the shadow requires a fundamental change in our attitude, a different way of living, really. It is something you can’t fake or achieve by following a prescribed formula. For the shadow to change, the ego must change. It must grow humble, like the king bowing to the Buddha, and accept that its condemnation may be the very root of the problem. Only then does the miracle occur.

Once our vices are truly seen with compassion, they begin to mature into virtues. Anger develops into the ability to stand up for oneself. Envy settles into the skill of admiring others and learning from them. Hatred resolves into acceptance of the true complexity of others and of oneself.

Integrating our shadow may seem like strictly personal work, but it actually improves our relationships with others as well. As the fractured parts of our psyche reunite, we learn to accept both ourselves and others whole, not just the parts we find pleasant. Ironically, the more we let go of our “good” self-image, the more peaceful and understanding we become. No wonder Jung exclaimed:

I would rather be whole than good.

–C.G. Jung (attributed)

The encounter between the Buddha and Aṅgulimāla depicts the psychological drama of each of us. Making peace with our shadow is one of the most important initiations of human life, and yet many never undertake this task consciously. Many of us live our lives split in two, caught in an endless civil war between what we accept and what we don’t accept within ourselves.

If this piece resonated with you, one of my previous essays goes deeper into the practical side of shadow integration, according to Jung’s experience and insights. I invite you to read that next, if you want to learn more.

Thank you for reading, and remember, “What you seek is seeking you”.

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Meditation, as I understand it, is the practice of uncovering awareness by letting go. But even meditation can become an object of attachment. “How should I do it? For how long? And what if I miss a day?” Such worries turn the practice into yet another enterprise to occupy the mind with a profusion of thoughts, fears, and desires, which only obscure awareness.

In an effort to let go of vain ambition disguised as spiritual discipline, we may drop formal meditation altogether. Instead, we may seek to imbue our everyday activities with mindfulness. We thus attempt to “meditate on the go”, to observe the mind in the midst of action. For most of us, this is not a sufficient replacement of formal practice. We live in a fast-paced, craving-fed world where our attention is constantly preyed on from all sides. It is not impossible to go through the day with presence of mind, but I wouldn’t bet on it. Sitting silently for a few minutes during the day is vital in reminding us that the peace and completeness we seek outside is inherent within us.

I would suggest a third way to approach meditation—a “Middle Way”, to echo Buddhist terminology—which can retain the benefits of the practice without developing attachment and anxiety around it. Instead of treating meditation as some special, “spiritual” activity, we may see it as something similar to taking a shower.

Most of us shower more or less consistently without making a big deal of it. To shower is technically not necessary, but it is good for us. Just as importantly, it feels good in a wholesome way. There are many benefits to it—physical, psychological, and social—but we don’t do it with some distant goal in mind. We don’t feel like less of a person if we occasionally skip our usual shower, since we are not deriving our sense of self from it. Taking a shower is both a core part of our lives and nothing special.

To approach meditation in the same way (as a “mind-shower”, if you will) is a good way to relax our relationship with it. Our practice ceases to be a spiritual chore, a permission to feel enlightened (or getting there), or an activity burdened with fantastical expectations. To thus bring meditation down from its transcendent pedestal to the level of the ordinary doesn’t lessen our practice, but actually deepens it. One may argue that we haven’t even started meditating before we’ve let go of our ideas about what meditation is.

Shikantaza (只管打坐) is how Sōtō Zen refers to the practice, which means “just sitting”. Once we relax into this attitude free of attachment, free of expectation, free even of the idea of a “practice”—then, simple experiences such as water streaming down our skin or being aware of being aware reveal themselves as anything but ordinary.

May we meditate meditation away,

Simeon

Suggested Reading

How To Meditate Without Even Trying by Peter Russell

I recently read Peter’s new book and spoke with him about in on the podcast (the episode will come out in about a week’s time). At a time when I had complicated my relationship with meditation unnecessarily, his book was a good reminder of the fundamentals of the practice—and of it’s profound value. Whether you are a seasoned practitioners or just starting your meditation journey, I think you’ll find much insight and inspiration in Peter’s book.

Order here to support SEEKER TO SEEKER at no extra cost. You can also browse my personal list of favourite books here.

In our previous conversation, physicist-turned-mystic Peter Russell joins me to explore why consciousness may be more fundamental than matter, touching on Maharishi and TM, non-duality, science vs. spirituality, time and eternity, and what kindness asks of us.

To say a bit about Francis, he is a student and long-time friend of Jean Klein, as well as the teacher of Rupert Spira. As you’ll hear in the conversation, he teaches non-duality more as a way of life than a concept, viewing it as “the common ground of Advaita Vedanta, Ch’an Buddhism, Zen, Taoism, and Sufism” (from his website).

In our conversation, Francis and I explore what non-duality means and how understanding the nature of consciousness can transform the way we live. We discuss how everyday experiences can give us insight into consciousness, and Francis offers several pointing-out instructions… Including a joke about the Pope! We also explore the cycles of desire and suffering, the fear of death behind our activities, and how all this is rooted in ignorance about our true nature. This leads us into a discussion on the role of psychotherapy and how it relates to spiritual insight, and Francis shares a unique perspective on that (delivered with fine humor for good measure).

I have done more than a few of these conversations, and this is one of the rare occasions when I felt I was in the presence of a “teacher” in the full sense of the word. I hope you find meaning and inspiration here as well!

With love and gratitude,

Simeon

Perfect Meditation

Above, I’ve clipped a particularly meaningful moment from the conversation, which gave me a new perspective on the role of meditation on the spiritual path. In fact, a new understanding of what “meditation” even means in the first place.

A few days ago, I had the chance to speak with Advaita Vedanta teacher Francis Lucille, and I want to share a deeply moving exchange I had with him. An exchange that may not seem like much on the surface, but is nevertheless the most moving teaching I’ve received in recent memory. It came as a single line Francis sent me over email:

Ninety-nine out of a hundred times you read Francis’ email, it says nothing special. But like a Zen kōan, if it meets you at the right moment and the right state of mind, it can shake you to the core. It did me.

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Love that can bear no hatred is only hatred on a finer level. Freedom that cannot dwell with limitation is but a tyrant in disguise. Only that rest which remains in the midst of movement is the “peace that passeth understanding”.

What is it that holds life in all its contradictions, yet remains whole? What is that Yes that covers the world like rolling thunder and “maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust”?

Is it not the very ground we stand on? The space that holds everything beautiful, terrible, and absurd within us? That love that never recedes, that freedom immune to limitation, that peace beyond understanding—is it not you, reading these words?

May we find the source and rest,

Simeon

Suggested Reading

The Perfume of Silence by Francis Lucille

“[The realization of Oneness] means being constantly open to the possibility that we are like two flowers looking at each other from two different branches of the same tree, so that if we were to go deep enough inside to the trunk, we would realize that we are one. Just being open to this possibility will have a profound effect on your relationships and on your experience of the world.”

― Francis Lucille, The Perfume of Silence

Order here to support SEEKER TO SEEKER at no extra cost. You can also browse my personal list of favourite books here.

In my search for the eternal, I flee from time, place, and circumstance. I flee this cage of a self, barred in by fear and desire, regret and ambition, and all things mundane. I flee the concrete in search of the absolute, and end up stranded in between.

For such is the mystery of the absolute, that it is always only concrete. Such is the play of eternity, that it speaks only in the moment.

What separates here from everywhere, now from always, is only a way of seeing.

May we rest and see,

Simeon

Suggested Reading

The Essential Dogen: Writings of the Great Zen Master

Dōgen’s writings return us to the intimacy of the present moment. What we seek as timeless, he suggests, is not hidden behind the world but shining through its suchness. His thought refuses every easy division between absolute and relative, eternity and time, awakening and ordinary life.

Order here to support SEEKER TO SEEKER at no extra cost. You can also browse my personal list of favourite books here.

Sometimes, it won’t be me who sees you, but a kid lost in the ruins of a childhood. Sometimes I won’t look at you, but through you—and you’ll be the facade of all my fears.

At times, your smile will open wounds so wide, we’ll both be swallowed. At times, my love will shrivel into want, and my want crumble into need.

There will be days that sink down a me-shaped hole. Days when we know our love only by the pain its absence brings.

On days like these, don’t pass the cup. Don’t spare your eyes. What needs healing first needs seeing. Be my eyes when I go blind, and show me to myself.

May we both be seen and seeing,

Simeon

Suggested Reading

The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self by Alice Miller

This is one of the books that has most impacted my self-understanding. Alice Miller explores how early emotional wounds shape the adult self, often invisibly directing our perceptions and relationships. What we take to be love may conceal unmet needs; what we see in others may reflect what we have not yet faced within ourselves…

Order here to support SEEKER TO SEEKER at no extra cost. You can also browse my personal list of favourite books here.

Dear friends,

I hope you are well in these confused and trying times. Something that has served me as an anchor for years (and even more so lately) has been my meditation practice. I thought I might share a new perspective on it that’s recently opened for me.

I try to do a bit of formal practice every day. Some sits feel like a waste, as my thinking has so much inertia that no amount of mindfulness seems to slow it down. (Still, I think this makes these sessions no less valuable, as it is one thing to be distracted and quite another to know just how distracted you are.) But sometimes, the mind does cool down, thought subsides, and the openness of non-dual awareness blossoms. It is after these sessions that something special occurs.

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“In this organism I begin, and in it I end. This body-mind, with its thoughts, feelings, and organs—this is who I am.” So goes the “self” superstition I live by.

But then a bird warbles in the branches overhead, and my heart leaps to dance. This joy then is my own, part of my self, but the birdsong that called it forth is not?

Or I open a book, whose beauty consumes me, whose depth and power reshape me. When I close the book, has it not nested within me? Does it not live through my actions and speak through my words?

I am lost in the ecstasy of my lover’s embrace, the smell of her skin, and the call in her eyes. Her body is my body, and my mind is a nameless passion; who or where am I then?

This self—or body-mind—isn’t it made of birdsong, poetry, and lovemaking just as much as of thoughts, feelings, and organs? Isn’t it life itself that speaks when I say “I am”?

It is thinking that fractures life into inner and outer, into self and other. But even thought, in its violence, is nothing other than life at play, life blooming, life exploring its abundance from endless angles, sinking in ever-deepening enchantment at its own mystery. And you and I are that!

May we rest as the mystery,

Simeon

Suggested Reading

The Interior Castle by Teresa of Ávila

In this classic of Christian mysticism, Teresa of Ávila describes the soul as a castle whose innermost chamber reveals a profound union with the divine. The journey inward becomes a discovery that the deepest center of the self is not separate from God. A luminous account of the unity underlying all experience.

Order here to support SEEKER TO SEEKER at no extra cost. You can also browse my personal list of favourite books here.

What is the true purpose of human life? In this world where nothing but hardship is guaranteed, is there something really worth striving for, something worth staking your life on?

When Jesus of Nazareth delivered his message, the “Good News”, he offered a profound answer to these questions. He delivered this answer in the form of parables. This spoke directly to the people, but also veiled his words in mystery. So much so that he has been misunderstood, misrepresented, mistranslated even, to this day.

Here, we will look at Jesus’ parables through the lens of depth psychologist Carl Gustav Jung. Without reducing Jesus’ teachings to psychology, we will nevertheless look at their psychological significance. That is, what they tell us about our inner life as individuals. As you’ll see, this will reveal a whole new dimension of Jesus’ message to the world.

We begin our journey at the end. The place Jesus points to again and again…

I. THE KINGDOM

In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus delivers many parables concerning the “kingdom of heaven”. Let’s look at two which he tells back-to-back. As I read these, pay careful attention to the wording, and see if you can notice a subtle discrepancy between the two. Jesus says:

The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and reburied; then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.

Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls; on finding one pearl of great value, he went and sold all that he had and bought it.

Matthew 13:44-46

On the face of it, the two parables use different images to say the same thing. Something like: “The kingdom of heaven is extremely valuable; when you discover it, you relinquish all other pursuits so you can fully devote yourself to attaining it.” But look closer…

Psychologist Fritz Kunkel notes that in the first parable, the kingdom is the treasure or that which is being discovered, while in the second, the kingdom is the merchant, the one who discovers the precious pearl. The discrepancy is so odd, so paradoxical, that the mind automatically corrects for it, reading the two parables as duplicates. But the language is very precise and intentional here.

The two parables clearly speak of a two-way relationship between us and the kingdom (whatever that is). The kingdom is the most precious possession for an individual, but an individual, too, appears to be priceless for the kingdom.

Unlike many Christian authors, Jesus is speaking quite encouragingly of human beings. First, he says, we are fully capable of recognizing that which is of the highest value and of attaining it. Second, we ourselves are of such value that the kingdom of heaven would sacrifice all to attain us. So here is a teaching on the intrinsic value of the individual, and of a two-way search. The same kind of search Rūmī means when he writes:

What you seek is seeking you.

Rūmī

In fact, the more time we spend with these two parables, the more we may suspect that Jesus is not talking about two separate things when he refers to the kingdom and the individual. We may also notice that the individual does not find the kingdom on a mountaintop or in some foreign land, but buried. Hidden right beneath his feet.

The kingdom Jesus is talking about seems to be something other than the popular image of a place among the clouds. To gain a different perspective on what he might mean, let’s arm ourselves with one of the most important insights of depth psychology.

II. BECOMING YOURSELF

For Swiss psychologist Carl Gustav Jung, what we call “I”, “me”, or “myself” is really only a tiny part of who and what we are. It is what he calls the “ego complex”, or “ego” for short. The ego is the collection of thoughts, memories, and other psychic content that fills our conscious experience. Since the ego processes literally all we are conscious of, it feels like our identity, like who we are. But in fact, it is only a fragment of our whole self. Jung writes:

[T]he ego is only the centre of my field of consciousness, it is not identical with the totality of my psyche … I therefore distinguish between the ego and the self, since the ego is only the subject of my consciousness, while the self is the subject of my total psyche, which also includes the unconscious.

C.G. Jung, The Structure and Dynamics of the Psyche

We can imagine the ego like the visible part of an iceberg, exposed to sun, wind, and all things above water. The self is the entire iceberg, exposed to the whole environment above and beneath the water surface. For example, people go to hypnotherapy and suddenly remember a traumatic experience they had 30 years ago. But it is the ego, really, that “suddenly remembers”. By ‘self’, Jung means that greater, hidden personality that has contained the memory all along.

The self contains repressed and forgotten things, but more importantly, it also contains potential things. Every time we grow as individuals, and our understanding of life deepens, more of the self enters into the tiny vessel that is our ego. The two are in a symbiotic relationship: the ego needs the self in order to grow and develop, while the self needs the ego in order to find expression in the world.

We won’t go any further into this, as I explore Jung’s model along with the Buddha’s view of no-self, in another essay. I invite you to read that for a fascinating comparison.

In any case, for Jung, the purpose of human life is to establish and maintain a creative relationship between ego and self. He calls this “individuation” and, borrowing the phrase from Nietzsche, describes it as the process of “becoming yourself”. Jung sees this as the fundamental religious attitude, seeing religion as a state where:

… the life of the individual is not determined solely by the ego and its opinions or by social factors, but quite as much, if not more, by a transcendent authority…an intensely personal, reciprocal relationship between man and an extramundane authority…

C.G. Jung, The Undiscovered Self

Let’s now take this psychological insight and see what new meanings it reveals in the sayings of Jesus.

III. ἐντός

There has been much debate and argument around these two verses from the Gospel of Luke:

Once Jesus was asked by the Pharisees when the kingdom of God was coming, and he answered, “The kingdom of God is not coming with things that can be observed, nor will they say, ‘Look, here it is!’ or ‘There it is!’ For, in fact, the kingdom of God is among you.”

Luke 17:21

The English translators of the Bible have struggled with this immensely. Some render Jesus’ words as “the kingdom of God is among you”, others as “the kingdom of God is in your midst”. Both are viable, but more conscientious editions add a footnote which says the words can also be rendered as “the kingdom of God is within you”, as indeed they are in older translations.

The Ancient Greek word translated here, ἐντός (entós), literally means “inside”. To make his meaning clearer, Jesus explicitly says the kingdom is not something that can be observed here or there, meaning it is not an external thing. You can see how subversive this claim is, given that we are still struggling with it some 2000 years later.

So, what could it mean that the kingdom of God is within us? This may remind us of that strange claim in the Old Testament that human beings have been created in the image of God. It may also remind us of Jung’s insight that the ego–or our surface personality–though being only a fragment of our self, is also the carrier of this self in the world.

If we apply Jung’s model to Jesus’ parables, we may see the ego as he who must discover the kingdom within that is the self. Indeed, that is the true purpose of the ego: it is an imperfect image of the self that must continuously develop to allow more of the self into the world. It must bring the buried treasure out from within.

The problem is, the ego is often its own worst enemy. Its narcissism clogs it up, cutting it off from the self and stifling the growth of the personality. Consider this as we look at the following words of Jesus:

If any wish to come after me, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.

For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will find it.

Matthew 16:24-25

In these two lines, Jesus says what takes Jung volumes to elaborate. That is, we must continually sacrifice our small, ego-centred personality if we are to keep uncovering our true individuality.

On the level of the ego, or who we think we are, this feels like death, like a loss of identity. This is why change and growth can be so difficult. Letting go of the person we’ve been so far, and of life as we’ve lived it, can be frightening, painful, and a loss… And yet this loss of who we are is what it takes to uncover more of who we could be.

Jesus is clearly saying that to follow him to the kingdom requires the sacrifice–nay, death–of who we are, and that whoever is unwilling to bear this sacrifice cannot receive the new kind of life that results from it. Or, as he says:

[N]o one can see the kingdom of God without being born anew.

John 3:3

I don’t think Jesus is speaking only psychologically here. It would be wrong to reduce his words to Jung’s theory or to anyone else’s. But we may recognize that it is central to his teaching that we must grow as individuals through continual self-sacrifice. This growth has a paradoxical quality, as it is the greatest gain and yet comes only through loss. It requires sacrificing yourself of your own free will, and yet it leads to truly becoming yourself.

But the ego is not the only obstacle we face in our quest for the kingdom. There is another force continually opposing the growth of individuals.

IV. THE EASY ROAD

Let’s now look at another powerful image Jesus uses. He says:

Enter through the narrow gate, for the gate is wide and the road is easy that leads to destruction, and there are many who take it.

For the gate is narrow and the road is hard that leads to life, and there are few who find it.

Matthew 7:13-14

To get to the kingdom, it is not enough to relinquish our egoic interests. We must also depart from the easy road taken by the many. We must depart from the collective, leaving its security behind to embark on the solitary and difficult journey of self-understanding. Jung, too, has noted the necessity of this. He writes:

[T]he development of personality … is the conscious and unavoidable segregation of the single individual from the undifferentiated and unconscious herd.

C.G. Jung, The Development of Personality

We can never attain an individual–and thus, authentic–attitude to life if we live according to the values and opinions of others. Whether it is our family, friends, coworkers, country, or church–it doesn’t matter. The more reliant we are on a group, the less we have to come up with our own answers to life’s challenges. We receive our ideas about right and wrong, about what is valuable and what is meaningful, from outside. Our life then is only vicarious, an echo of the collective. We are like the man possessed by a legion of spirits, only we are possessed by the thoughts of those around us.

Even living according to Christian values is against the teachings of Jesus if we have not arrived at these values through authentic conviction. Jesus says:

[U]nless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

Matthew 5:20

The scribes and Pharisees, during the time of Jesus, were those most responsible for preserving the values of the Jewish community. He is not criticising the values themselves, as he clarifies:

Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have come not to abolish but to fulfill.

Matthew 5:17

Jesus is rather condemning the outer obedience to moral values as a mechanical gesture when it is disconnected from inner experience. In fact, he goes as far as to say to the Pharisees:

[T]ax collectors and the prostitutes are going into the kingdom of God ahead of you.

Matthew 21:31

This proclamation may sound harsh, but in fact, it contains the most loving and life-affirming aspect of the “Good News” Jesus brings.

V. THE GOOD NEWS

The path Jesus is leading us on passes between two abysses–the ego and the collective–each ready to swallow us whole. And the path itself is “hard”, no less perilous than the danger it is leading away from. Finding our authentic stance on life requires moral experimentation that can easily turn us into villains. And the impulse to be free of our ego can easily degenerate into self-repression dressed as virtue. Whether we take the hard road or not, our souls are always in mortal danger. The only difference is the path Jesus takes us on offers the possibility of salvation.

Unfortunately, most, if not all, of us cannot find this path most of the time. It is not our fault, really… It is just that we are facing near-impossible odds in a world of confusion, apathy, and suffering. But here comes the good news. The one insight I would most like to leave with you.

Let’s read that reproach to the Pharisees again; this time, with a bit more context. Jesus addresses them:

“What do you think? A man had two sons; he went to the first and said, ‘Son, go and work in the vineyard today.’ He answered, ‘I will not,’ but later he changed his mind and went. The father went to the second and said the same, and he answered, ‘I go, sir,’ but he did not go. Which of the two did the will of his father?”

They said, “The first.”

Jesus said to them, “Truly I tell you, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are going into the kingdom of God ahead of you.”

Matthew 21:28-31

It is better to lose your way, Jesus is saying, better to deny God outright, if that is what it takes to one day “change your mind”, than it is to live with outer obedience but no inner conviction. In fact, Jesus goes so far as to say that those who lose their way only to find it again are of greater value to the kingdom than those who have never gotten lost in the first place:

Which one of you, having a hundred sheep and losing one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness and go after the one that is lost until he finds it?

…

Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance.

Luke 15:4,7

Now this is really good news, for the fact is, each one of us is that lost sheep. This, to me, is what makes Jesus’ message truly universal and timeless. He is not preaching a certain doctrine you have to follow or elaborate rites you have to perform. He also doesn’t care whether you’re a pastor or a prostitute. (The latter, as we’ve seen, can be preferable.) All Jesus cares about is whether you are willing to “change your mind”. This core message has also become the victim of translation, as we’ve come to refer to it with the rather unwelcoming English word “repentance”.

VI. BORN ANEW

The word “repentance” comes with connotations of guilt and self-condemnation, which have sadly become a big part of the popular image of Christianity. In the original Gospels, Jesus uses the word μετάνοια (metanoia), which literally means a transformation of one’s understanding. A change in our way of being so profound that Jesus says:

[N]o one can see the kingdom of God without being born anew.

John 3:3

“Being born anew”, like the caterpillar beginning a second life as a butterfly, is what Jesus is calling us to. This dramatic change is impossible when you are barricaded behind the ego or the collective, hardened with self-righteousness. So this is one part of the message: losing your way is no cause for despair; in fact, it is necessary.

One sure strategy to never discover the kingdom is to remain forever in the bubble of the ego or in the slumber of the collective. This is to remain forever in the womb of your small world, refusing to be born anew and become yourself.

There is another important point. Many Christians may imagine that this transformation Jesus is preaching is a one-off event, like our physical birth. But Jesus is preaching a spiritual kind of birth, a birth “from above”, as he calls it [John 3:3]. He is calling us not so much to the kingdom as a destination, but to the path to the kingdom as a journey.

Whether you hear Jesus’ words for the first or for the millionth time, whether you hear them as a prostitute or as a priest, they are never any less relevant. The butterfly is always needing to be born, in one aspect of our lives or another. This may be one reason why the Gospels refer to the soul by the Ancient Greek word ψυχή (psukhē), which also means “butterfly”. This is the origin of the word “psychology” as well.

As Jung points out, individuation, or becoming ourselves, is a never-ending process of emptying the ego and making more room for the riches of the self. This process makes us less egotistical but more individual, less beholden to social norms, and yet of greater value to the community. It connects us to a higher power that both transcends us and yet lives at our very core. Most importantly, both Jung and Jesus see this as the ultimate purpose and deepest realization of human life. It constitutes not only our discovery of the treasure, but our own transfiguration into treasure, into precious pearls for the kingdom within.

We’ve taken a psychological view of Jesus’ teachings here, which tells us a lot, but not all. For a mystical and no less profound take on how we enter the kingdom, I invite you to my essay on Meister Eckhart’s most famous sermon.

Carl Jung dedicated his life to understanding the human psyche—and his own. Borrowing Nietzsche’s incendiary phrase, “Become yourself!”, he developed his vision of “individuation” (or uncovering one’s unique potential and stance on life) as the ultimate purpose of human existence.

But despite all his self-inquiry, self-knowledge, and self-development (or perhaps because of them), Jung shares some striking non-dual experiences in his late years. In his autobiography, written in his old age, we read:

“At times I feel as if I am spread out over the landscape and inside things, and am myself living in every tree, in the plashing of the waves, in the clouds and the animals that come and go, in the procession of the seasons…”

— C.G. Jung and Aniela Jaffé, Memories, Dreams, Reflections

We may wonder whether Jung is not contradicting his earlier preoccupation with “becoming oneself” here… Or whether, on the contrary, he is describing an advanced stage of self-awareness. In his personal letters, he reveals even more:

“I observe myself in the stillness of Bollingen and with all my experience of nearly eight decades must admit that I have found no rounded answer to myself. I am just as much in doubt about myself as before, the more so the more I try to say something definite. It is as though familiarity with oneself alienated one from oneself still further.”

— Carl Jung, Letters Vol. II

The Buddha, I think, would be happy to hear Jung’s ultimate conclusion about himself… That is, his lack of any conclusion whatsoever.

In Ānandasutta (SN 44.10), the Buddha is silent when asked whether the self exists; he is then asked whether the self does not exist, and he remains silent. Could there be more freedom in that silence than any conclusion could convey?

May we grow familiar with ourselves,

Simeon

Suggested Reading

Aion: Researches into the Phenomenology of the Self by C.G. Jung

“Aion, originally published in German in 1951, is one of the major works of Jung’s later years. The central theme of the volume is the symbolic representation of the psychic totality through the concept of the Self, whose traditional historical equivalent is the figure of Christ. Jung demonstrates his thesis by an investigation of the Allegoria Christi, especially the fish symbol, but also of Gnostic and alchemical symbolism, which he treats as phenomena of cultural assimilation. The first three chapters—on the ego, the shadow, and the anima and animus—provide a valuable summation of these key concepts in Jung’s system of psychology.”

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You read these words and encounter them as novel, as unfamiliar. I read them, and I know them as my own, thought up and laid down in print by my self. We both grasp at the text: I by claiming ownership over it, and you by seeking to profit from it. We may call this spontaneous grasping egotistical, and therefore ‘unenlightened’, but that makes it no less natural. In fact, to condemn our grasping is only to grasp on a higher, more “spiritual” level: “I must not grasp, I must not be egotistical—I must be better!”

If this self-making occurs so spontaneously, we may do well to pause and consider why it arises in the first place. Why has nature seen fit to create diverse loci of consciousness, diverse sentient beings, each striving to preserve, reinforce, and express itself? Or, in our limited case study, why is there me as the writer, and you as the reader?

Nature is far too consistent, determined, and creative in its self-making to write this off as a mere error. And we ourselves are far too fruitful in the endless variety of perspectives we bring to life.

We may wonder whether nature has not overdone things by separating itself into various identities, as we are destroying the world (and ourselves) over what belongs to whom and which self is more important than the other. But maybe the suffering that springs from egoism is the wake-up call we need to develop a more holistic understanding of reality. We must only remember that the impulse to this waking up, the drive to become free from suffering, can arise only in our selves.

Our individual consciousness is the soil in which nature plants its seeds. How would the insights of the Buddha, for example, have entered the world had the Buddha not awakened to them? How would this text have been written if I had not grabbed the pen, and how would it have become known if you, my reader, “mon semblable, mon frère”, had not arrived here to read it? Perhaps our selves are all so many masks nature puts on to catch a glimmer of its ever-elusive face?

May we wake to and beyond ourselves,

Simeon

Suggested Reading

The Phenomenon of Man by Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Teilhard de Chardin presents a sweeping vision of evolution not merely as biological change but as the unfolding of consciousness within the cosmos. From matter to life to reflective mind, the universe becomes increasingly aware of itself through countless individual centers of experience. Human consciousness, in this view, is not an accident but a pivotal moment in the story of the world.

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I’m happy to share the new BEYOND MEANING episode with you, where I speak with Stephen Mugen Snyder, Roshi, a lineage teacher in both Theravāda and Zen, and the only Jhāna meditation master also recognized as a Zen meditation master.

For all his accomplishments and his 5 decades of practice behind him, you’ll find Mugen is such a gentle, open, and generous human being. I had a wonderful time speaking with him, and we covered a lot! We went over the fundamentals of Buddhist meditation (in both Theravāda and Zen), some common challenges and misconceptions, as well as some rarely talked about topics like past-life recall in deep meditation. I also asked Mugen a few of the questions submitted by channel members and patrons, AND we closed the conversation with a guided meditation.

Here is more of what we covered:

• Samatha vs vipassanā (purifying mind vs purifying view) and how they can support each other

• The Zen path of open awareness (“just sitting”) and koans, and how Mugen combines this with jhāna training

• The heart practices (brahmavihāras), and why Mugen starts his students with them

• What awakening changes in everyday life (and what it doesn’t change unless the personality is also integrated)

• Why deep practice also requires psychological integration, and how therapy can prevent spiritual bypassing

• A discussion of the potential role of psychedelics in the awakening journey

I hope this conversation brings you inspiration, clarity, and perhaps some new questions, too, that help you move forward on your path. The episode goes public this Saturday, the 28th.

With love and gratitude,

Simeon

🌐For more by Stephen Mugen Snyder, Roshi, visit:

https://awakeningdharma.org/

⌛ Timestamps
00:00 Introduction
08:36 A clear map of Buddhist meditation: key terms and core techniques
12:07 How the different kinds of meditation fit together
15:22 The heart practices (brahmavihārās) explained
18:35 What is “the Absolute” in meditation?
19:55 Invitation to the community
20:35 Is a “technique” even necessary in meditation?
22:09 A practical guide to open awareness practice
24:40 The jhāna stages of meditation explained
29:56 What does entering jhāna actually feel like?
32:39 How meditation transforms everyday life
35:01 What is the true aim of meditation?
38:35 What does “awakening” really mean?
43:49 What is an awakened person like in daily life?
46:33 Why psychological work and therapy matter on the path
51:41 Realistic meditation advice for busy lay practitioners
54:54 Concentration vs. “letting go” — which matters more?
56:40 How to combine concentration and open awareness in one sitting
1:00:43 Intensity or consistency — what leads to progress?
1:01:54 Meditation, awakening, and scientific research
1:04:14 Past-life recollection and extraordinary experiences in meditation
1:09:42 Can psychedelics support awakening?
1:13:03 Guided meditation
1:22:26 Books, retreats, and further resources

🎵 Original music by Ray Mickey

Our deepest insights and our most original ideas come when we are in a state of rest. When we are not trying. They arise in us, but not from us, and should we have enough space for them, they choose us as their vessels.

Our times, possessed as they are with activity-psychosis, have forgotten the significance of rest. We wage war on rest with our arsenal of deadlines, to-do lists, vision boards, productivity systems… One may wonder whether we know rest at all, or only entertainment. We gorge ourselves on activity, hoping for some feat of alchemy to transform it into satisfaction. The idea that satisfaction should come before activity, that our work must be the expression of a life well lived (rather than the means to such a life), is alien to us, suspect… Blasphemous?

The Buddha makes a profound distinction when he lists the mind as one of the sense organs: a receiver of thoughts (rather than their maker, as we believe it is in the West). If we consider this perspective seriously, we may see how counterproductive it is to always keep the mind busy, always consuming, always entertained, always full. A full mind is a mind with no capacity to receive new understanding or to question what understanding it has. It is a mind dulled by the monotony of its patterns, conveniently susceptible to the coercion of leaders, “influencers”, and charlatans of every kind.

Rest, the cessation of activity, the surrender of pursuits—including the pursuit of rest—is essential for the cultivation of insight. Rest (to phrase it in a way more palatable to modern sensibilities) is the divine form of work. When we are at rest, we become the space in which life spontaneously reveals what our shortsighted efforts can never attain.

May we remember to rest,

Simeon

Suggested Reading

Leisure: The Basis of Culture by Josef Pieper

“One of the most important philosophy titles published in the twentieth century… Leisure is an attitude of the mind and a condition of the soul that fosters a capacity to perceive the reality of the world. Pieper shows that the Greeks and medieval Europeans, understood the great value and importance of leisure. He also points out that religion can be born only in leisure—a leisure that allows time for the contemplation of the nature of God…

“Pieper maintains that our bourgeois world of total labor has vanquished leisure, and issues a startling warning: Unless we regain the art of silence and insight, the ability for non-activity, unless we substitute true leisure for our hectic amusements, we will destroy our culture—and ourselves.”

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The cultivation of insight into self and world—whether through philosophy, science, or meditation—tends to make obsolete certain interpretations of reality we have so far taken as self-evident, as common sense. But these interpretations we later condemn as “ignorant” (even “wrong”) are what has allowed and compelled us to seek and cultivate insight in the first place.

The womb nourishes and protects the fetus, providing it with comfort and predictability, only to then expel it into a strange, terrifying, and miraculous world that is yet needed for the further development of life. In this same way, our ignorance, immaturity, and errors seem to be no random “mistakes”, but the very soil in which the seed of insight can grow.

Ignorance is not the enemy of insight, but its womb. Ignorance is the past tense of insight, and we are ignorant indeed when we take our current understanding to be final and complete. Nature is continually expelling us into the strange, terrifying, and miraculous as we stumble towards understanding, climbing a ladder of errors towards… Truth? Could positing truth be the final womb keeping us from birth beyond ignorance and insight?

May we never cease being born,

Simeon

Suggested Reading

Nicholas of Cusa: Selected Spiritual Writings translated by H. Lawrence Bond

Nicholas of Cusa proposes a paradox: the highest wisdom is “learned ignorance.” Before the infinite, the intellect must relinquish its claim to completion. Knowledge grows not by conquering mystery but by deepening reverence for it. A luminous Christian counterpart to the insight that every birth of understanding reveals a wider horizon of unknowing.

Order here to support SEEKER TO SEEKER at no extra cost. You can also browse my personal list of favourite books here.

Dear friends,

This Valentine’s Day taught me a simple but deeply meaningful lesson, one I’d like to share with you.

It was time for breakfast, and my partner and I were waiting for our boy, Alexy, at the kitchen table. He was taking more time than usual to get ready, and when he arrived, he came with two Valentine’s Day cards, one for me and one for Elly, my partner. The cards were in DIY envelopes on which Alexy had drawn heart-shaped portraits of Elly and me. Inside, he expressed his love and gratitude for our being there for him. (Alexy’s cards were all the more moving for his brazen disregard of Bulgarian grammar and punctuation; modernist prose at its finest!) Elly teared up, and the three of us embraced… But I was filled with a mixture of feelings that was altogether not too pleasant.

Alexy’s gift moved me deeply, moved me to tears in fact, but in spite of that—or rather, because of that—a gnawing sense of guilt arose within me. First, I thought, I had not gotten any present for him, and second, the beautiful necklace I had bought for Elly seemed like such an inadequate, impersonal gift next to what Alexy had made for us. So, there I made my first mistake; clinging to my perceived “performance” on the occasion, I made myself unable to receive Alexy’s gift, unable to allow myself the love he was giving me freely. I made my second mistake, too: I determined to “fix” the situation by buying more gifts.

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